People Think Differently, How Does This Affect Your Communication?

I had a testimonial sent to me last night, which really perked me up and I found myself wondering why is it that I need this recognition to feel so good about what I do? Just having this thought made me laugh because that is part of what I do; I help people understand that our brains work differently.

I’m Mandy Bruford from Defining Communication and the purpose of this blog is to share my understanding of how people think. Over time I aim to show you some of the ways we think differently in the hope that you too will understand that people think differently and that you will be able to modify your communication as needed. Just to be clear, when I say “think differently” I mean the process of how we think, and not what we think i.e. our opinions

In order to communicate truly effectively with another person we need to communicate within the parameters of how that person’s brain functions, one of the ways that can be done is using Meta Programs. Meta Programs are one of many types of filters that determine how we behave, and how we communicate with others.

So moving back to my testimonial, are you like me? Are you one of those people who even though they know they have done a good job, they still need recognition from a source outside of themselves to feel great about the job they have done.
This particular Meta Programs is called a Success Orientation Filter and it tells us where you look to evaluate your performance. You will do one of the following:

  1. Internal – look inside yourself and know that you are doing or have done a good job.
  2. External – look to another to tell you are doing or have done a good job.
  3. Internal with external check – you know that you are doing or have done a good job but you need confirmation from another.
  4. External with an internal check – look to another to tell you are doing or have done a good job before confirming that within yourself.

 How can this help you – If you are a manager of people and let’s face it we all are, we have friends, family, children and staff to influence; you will know who to leave to get on with the job, who needs the thumbs up great job and who needs constant encouragement. Knowing this reduces possible irritation and allows you to give people what they need to get the job done.

Knowing this helps me keep my spirits high, I’m an internal with external check person, which is hard when you’re the boss or when you work for yourself. So I find ways to get that external check. I ask for testimonials, I work with a coach and they are very good at giving you that check, I also share what I am doing with others and ask them what they think.

And on that note I wish you a wonderful communicative day until the next Meta Program and I would love to hear from you if this information has been helpful.


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